Today was a rather strange day. I was at work thinking about my life, my kids…my age… Things felt a little off, to be honest. I wondered what is it that really that I want in life? What’s holding me back from doing the things that I am most passionate about? Is it money? Is it lack of time? Is it fear? The fear of doing something unknown, of failing? I wondered about my age. I am 30 now, does this mean I really ought to take things more seriously? No playing about, no more, I thought. But then what? Where do I begin?
Life can be a pretty rough ride at times, and as a parent you always have your kids in the back of your mind, reminding you that no matter what, always go forward. I have to say, I have been so mentally drained for quite some time, with a Masters in Early Childhood to finish, and now work taking up so much of my time. I usually finish work and I don’t really want to do anything else other than just doing nothing at all, really. Essays need to wait, even if the deadline is fast approaching. The house will have to be cleaned another day… I guess it’s takeaway night again, because the food in the kitchen isn’t going to cook itself, sadly…
When is it time to stop? How do you stop when life is going so fast you can hardly breathe?! Am I the only one who feels guilty planning a holiday for later in the year, when I have important and immediate things that ought to be sorted out asap? At the same time, that blissful moment when you can imagine just how grand life will be for that two week holiday it has taken months in advance to plan… But for now, I think I’ll have a cup of tea, read a good book and go to bed! I suppose there’s no set time to stop. Your body lets you know when it’s ready to slow down and just enjoy things as they are, even for a moment…life can be blissful then, too 🙂